My Beautiful Orchid

The growing power vacuum left behind was filled with regional battles as some 170 feudal states formerly loyal to Zhou fought for consolidation of their territories. By the time of Confucius’ death these had coalesced into 7 major states run by warlords rather than traditional nobility. The next 250 years, known as the Warring States Period (476-221 BCE), was characterized by continuous warfare and more bloodshed than any other period in China’s history until the empire was finally unified under the Qin Dynasty. Two centuries later Mencius (372–289 BCE) expanded on his ideas and developed them into a formal social and political doctrine. During the Han Dynasty (206 BC-220 AD) Confucianism was made the official state philosophy and remained more or less central to the Chinese worldview for over two millennia. After the fall of the Qing Dynasty (1644-1912) the new Republic of China discarded Confucianism. Forty years later Mao ruthlessly suppressed it and drove it underground where it remains to this day. China’s urban centers and government now have essentially modern worldviews and are becoming increasingly Western in character. But for the 75 percent of China’s population that live in rural regions, the guiding principles of life are still rooted in Confucian principles.

Confucius greatly admired the Zhou Dynasty and tirelessly preached the virtues of its rulers, yet during his lifetime it disintegrated as regional kings and nobles squabbled over their own interests at the empire’s expense. Deeply disturbed by this, he devoted his life creating an ethical and social philosophy based on virtuous behavior, charity, and loyalty, and struggled to amass a large enough following for a new dynasty based on it. Only this, he argued, would restore harmony and the blessings of Heaven to the land.

"If right principles prevailed through the empire, there would be no need for me to change its state."

(Analects XVIII, 6)

Nothing mattered more to Confucius than virtue and peace, which could only be realized in a social order founded on what he called Lǐ, or Rites. These were far more than external rituals or moral rules and to some extent they defy Western categorization. They included good manners, propriety, and most importantly a clear understanding of one’s place. To Confucius, there was a moral and spiritual hierarchy to the order of Heaven within which everyone had a place—individuals, families, nobles, even the king. In every relationship there was an elder and a younger, a host and a guest, a ruler and a subject, and so forth. Living one’s life in service to this order was the highest form of self-cultivation. The virtuous man behaves courteously and charitably toward others with sincerity, not out of obligation but because he knows where he belongs and what is expected of him.

"Respectfulness, without the Rites, becomes laborious bustle; carefulness, without the Rites, becomes timidity; boldness, without the Rites, becomes insubordination; straightforwardness, without the Rites, becomes rudeness."

(Analects VIII, 2)

One who failed in this through thoughtlessness, foolishness, or self-interest would “lose face”. Contrary to what most Westerners believe, to lose face is far more than merely bringing shame on one’s self (as we understand the word)—it is a denial of one’s very identity that brings the displeasure of Heaven on self and family. The king’s power was derived from his virtue and he ruled by example rather than force. In so doing he acquired the Mandate of Heaven and the title Son of Heaven. If he did not rule virtuously and wisely, Heaven would be displeased and would give the Mandate to someone else. The Zhou Dynasty had justified overthrowing of the previous Shang Dynasty on the grounds that the king had ruled with meanness, and thereby lost the Mandate of Heaven. Confucius believed that a society where everyone lived according to Rites would restore the Mandate of Heaven and bring peace and prosperity.

What does all this have to do with a preference for sons? In the Confucian worldview all interpersonal connections in the order of Heaven were determined by the Six Relations, or liu lun;

Father-Son     Husband-Wife     Elder Brother-Younger Brother

Prince-Minister     Elder Friend-Younger Friend     Teacher-Student

These defined superior-inferior in all relationships. The Superior held the duty of benevolence and care for the Inferior, who in turn held the duty of obedience and respect. They also determined the order of xiào, or filial piety —the reverence, religious reverence, that children were to have for their parents. The superiority of men was at the core of this hierarchy. Society was structured around patrilineal kinship where everyone was exceedingly careful to distinguish their duties. In Mandarin there are no general equivalents for English words like brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, uncle, aunt, or cousin—only specific ones that clarify kinship and one’s place within the Confucian order.  There were different titles for "older brother" and "younger brother", paternal and maternal grandfather, and even paternal and maternal uncles and aunts. Relatives by marriage (in-laws, spouses of your siblings) had their own titles as well. These kinship networks were the anchors that held communities together. It was said that the ideal family had five generations living under one roof, and the patriarch of a family that met this Confucian ideal was eligible to receive an official letter of congratulations from the Emperor.

In this order the highest role a woman could fulfill was to humbly serve the men in her life and insure the continuation of the clan by producing male heirs. Confucius taught that women should observe the Three Obediences and the Four Virtues. They were to be obedient to their fathers and elder brothers when young, to their husbands during marriage, and to their sons when widowed. The feminine ideal was dependence and a passive obedience that accepted a lower place in the order of things. A girl’s position within her family of birth was temporary. Her marriage would be arranged by her parents with the primary objectives being an efficient household and the furthering of family continuity through the bearing of male heirs. Once married, she became part of her husband’s clan and was lost to her own. Her status there would be ambiguous until she produced male heirs. She had no right of her own to select a husband, let alone the right to divorce or to remarry if widowed.