My Beautiful Orchid

Eight days later she took her first steps and by the time we arrive home in Seattle she was running all over the house, scrambling up and down the staircase—14 months of development in two weeks! Being all over everything like a cheap suit, she quickly acquires the nickname “Squiggleworm”, which eventually becomes “Squiggle”, and finally just “Squig”—her nickname to this day (at least to Daddy).

Suddenly a whole new realm of Creation opens before me and I find myself confronted with a learning curve I never saw coming (every jot and title of which was, of course, self-evident to Audrey). Bottles, of which we brought dozens (they’re warm fluid receptacles—do we really need this many?); nipples, which I learn come in dozens of different types; soft, hard, tri-cut, adjustable-flow (for crying out loud, how many ways can there possibly be to suck warm fluid from said receptacles?); diapers, again in countless baffling varieties (though I did learn very quickly the logic behind “overnights”—geez, the kid actually pees and poops, and not according to any logical diurnal timeline!).

The one thing that presented no challenges was love.

We spent another two weeks in China, first in Chengdu, then in Guangzhou where the U.S. Immigration Office is. All the necessary paperwork went smoothly and the Civil Affairs bureau and orphanage authorities who assisted us could not have been more helpful. Claire’s foster nanny was present for our session with Civil Affairs. Once again, Claire never once looked at her during the entire meeting and would not leave Audrey’s arms to go to her when given the opportunity. For two years I had worried about bonding issues. I now realize how foolish those fears were. God had destined the three of us to be a family—a fact Claire seems to have known long before it sank into my own heart.

With each passing day we learned more about each other, and the three-fold cord of unbreakable love grew ever stronger. We strolled among shops, parks, temples, and vistas marveling at the beauty and heritage of this magnificent land. We saw panda’s at the Chengdu Panda Preserve (a rare and unforgettable gift for me as a landscape photographer), sampled foods I’d never before tried, and saw things I never imagined. I had many expectations of what China would be like. None of them included a six-story high billboard of Sega Playstation’s Sonic the Hedgehog, or McDonald’s river boats that were neon literally from the waterline up—including three-story high glowing renditions of the golden arches (yes, you heard right, I’ve got the pictures to prove it).

Yet none of this could compare to our human encounters. We had arrived in China with many fears. We were after all, foreigners who were taking their infants away to be raised in an alien culture. Friends had told us of urban legends spreading across China claiming that Americans were adopting girls to provide slave labor in the states, and Beijing was certainly not in any hurry to publicize the real reason for our journey. Would we be walking the streets amidst icy stares and clenched fists? Nothing could have been further from the truth, and once again I found myself amazed and humbled. Those in the hotels and shops who knew why we were there thanked us repeatedly for adopting their orphan girls. Again and again we were told, “You have a warm heart!” Everywhere we went people stopped to visit and asked if they could have their pictures taken with Claire. Many asked how it was that foreigners had come to adopt a Chinese girl. Never once was there even a hint of suspicion or doubt—they were fascinated and genuinely wanted to know. As we told of the widespread practice of abandoning infant girls, the growing trend in international adoptions, and our desire to give a home to such a girl their eyes would grow wide with amazement. They had no idea this was happening (yet more evidence of Beijing’s tight-lipped treatment of the subject). “Xie xie!” (thank you). “You have a warm heart!” Seldom have I felt so welcome, and safe. Of course to Audrey and I it is the Chinese people who have made Claire possible for us, who have the warm heart.

Our Life Begins

We return home on Labor Day weekend and Claire wastes no time exploring her new world. With boundless curiosity, she gets into everything that can be fussed with; containers, closets, toys with moving parts, books, and more. Her little eyes focus with a quiet concentration I wish I had, and sooner or later she unravels every mystery. I spend an hour at Home Depot selecting child-proof gates and another hour assembling and installing them. She figures out the mechanism in less than 10 minutes and comes and goes at will. Now they’re only useful for containing the dog. By 18 months old she’s figured out the television remote and the key fob for our van. From then on she insists on being the one to lock, unlock and open the doors. She even figures out how to reboot our computer and turn on the Microsoft sticky-key feature (which I could not reverse-engineer without consulting the Microsoft Knowledge Base and Help Desk staff at work). She teases, giggles uncontrollably, and plays like there’s no tomorrow. Hide and seek is her favorite game, other favorites being swinging, puddle pouncing, “doinging” (jumping up and down aided by Daddy’s grasp until she can touch the ceiling), and chasing our poor, bewildered dog with a broom (to Mommy’s dismay and frustration).

With her deepening sense of identity comes a new independence. Nothing will do but she must roll her own diapers up after being changed, pick her own clothes, choose her own toothbrush before being brushed, and more. “By self!” she insists. Her little heart blossoms even more. She dotes continually on her stuffed animals and dolls with an ever watchful eye for their needs. One day I discovered a lump in our bed. Turning back the sheets I see her little stuffed lion, carefully tucked into bed and wrapped in one of her diapers with just its head showing. The diaper has been put on and secured properly. She shares her food with them, dresses them. At regular intervals they get gentle hugs and kisses. In public she is shy and hides quietly behind Mommy and Daddy when introduced. But within minutes she warms to everyone with unassuming acceptance (today, she will run to the first little girl she sees at the playground and ask, “Will you be my special friend?” after which they go off to play holding hands. Soon there are three or four of them all dancing, running, and pausing every few minutes for a group hug. What I wouldn’t give for the same purity of heart!). Every night before bed we pray as a family. Without fail Claire reminds us to pray for “all the little children, China.” She remembers them!