My Beautiful Orchid

The overwhelming majority of girls like her have been abandoned unwillingly. Of the families interviewed by Johnson and her colleagues nearly all cited either the need for a son or the possibility of ruinous fines as the primary motive. Families identified as over-quota are often subjected to closer scrutiny by authorities making it more difficult for them to have a son even under the table. Even more troubling is the fact that in some areas parents who have had one or more over-quota pregnancies are still at risk for coerced abortion or sterilization. Faced with the prospect of little or no social security and the crushing weight of Confucian expectations from their communities, most feel they have “no choice” but to abandon and will spend the rest of their lives bearing a river of sorrow. Johnson tells of one woman who was typical of her study subjects. When asked how she felt about abandoning (ten years earlier), she stoically reported that she had “gotten over it”. But shortly thereafter the interview ended when she broke down sobbing saying that she never wanted to think or speak of this again. Abandoned girls are often found with notes attached to them pleading for someone with a warm heart to care for them, or an excoriating condemnation of government policies. One such note found with an infant girl in Hunan Province said;

"This baby girl was born on – 1992 at 5:30 AM and is now 100 days old… She is in good health and has never suffered any illness. Because of the current political situation and heavy pressures that are too difficult to explain, we, who were her parents for these first days, cannot continue taking care of her. We can only hope that there is a kind-hearted person who will care for her. Thank you. In regret and shame, your father and mother."

Haunted by these words, sleep continues to elude me. I can scarcely imagine the demons that must torment this couple. To upper middle class Americans like me the word shame is almost comical (“shame on you!...”). But to someone with a Confucian worldview, it’s nothing less than a complete loss of character, and even identity—a four-star general would sooner admit to being a traitor and a coward. As I lie awake watching Claire, I think of her birth parents. No doubt these words speak for them as well and I cannot shake from my mind the image of them watching from a lonely hiding place in urban Nanchong—in regret and shame—as she is picked up and taken away…

And I weep.

Population Management in China Today

And yet, there is hope. Slowly but surely, Beijing is beginning to realize that they will not achieve their economic and social goals unless they shed outmoded ways of thinking and cooperate with other nations. One result has been a gradual shifting of China’s social welfare apparatus from rigid centralized control and secrecy to a more open one that grants county and provincial authorities with more freedom, including the freedom to cooperate with international NGO’s. Prior to this, the only state provided social security available came from the Five Guarantees plan, under which elderly retirees would be assigned to other households in their collective who would be tasked with caring for their basic needs. When collectives vanished, so did its effectiveness. Today it has been revamped to fit better with market economies. Local authorities have taken advantage of their newfound freedom to establish a myriad of social welfare programs that draw upon state and local funds, charitable funds, labor, goods, and information to provide for the elderly, including families without sons. Some rural regions are even providing rudimentary pension and life insurance programs. On the socio-economic front, China’s growing role in the global economy is raising the status of women. Increased mobility, higher levels of education, and more work opportunities are now available to them. This in turn leaves them in a much better position to care for their birth families as well as their in-laws’ and takes much of the pressure off of sons. The impact of all this has been mixed and the end result is still no more than a pale shadow of what is available to those with urban hukou. Today all but a few percent of China’s rural elderly remain dependent on the support of their children and grandchildren to survive. Nevertheless, they are a first step in a very promising direction.

Attitudes are also changing. Slowly but surely the Confucian emphasis on having many sons is being shed, and many if not most rural families are seeking a son and a daughter. This trend can be seen in the data gathered by Johnson and her colleagues. Over 70 percent of the parents they interviewed reported one child of each sex as being their ideal family makeup. Even as far back as 1985 field surveys in Hebei Province found that most women who had sons wanted their next child to be a girl. As we saw earlier, many are even paying fines to keep over-quota daughters. All of this reflects a growing status for women and a waning of the need for sons as a hedge against family destitution—trends that are eroding the temptation to abandon infants.

Beijing has also shown new interest in addressing the plight of China’s orphans. In 2000 domestic adoption laws were revised now this is much more accessible. Married couples with a child of their own are now able to adopt as are couples without children. The adoption age has been lowered to 30. Fostering programs have been introduced throughout China that allow for orphans to be cared for in family homes rather than social welfare institutes. Claire spent the first 14 months of her life in just such a home in urban Nanchong. Her foster sister who was raised with her in the same home now lives near St. Paul, MN and we get together with her at least once a year. In the 14 years since it was founded the CCAA has refined and matured its operations and is establishing solid working relationships with a growing number of China’s social welfare institutes. As the number of international adoptions grows, so does the flow of funds from adoptive parents. In conjunction with funding increases from Beijing, this is boosting living conditions at orphanages and mortality rates are at their lowest levels ever. As noted earlier, progress has been slow and uneven and huge inequities remain, but compared to the past two decades many strides have been made and the future is promising. As China expands these efforts and Western awareness grows, the number of forgotten girls who find loving homes will grow, and lives will continue to be transformed.

Lives like my own…

Family Transitions